11 July 2016

berlin part 2

Moving through the bright and unsettling gravity of the city, I wanted to appear uncrumbled. I wanted to justify the way I felt by saying I was from a different place, all the while knowing this city was just a physical representation of how the world always feels. Mentally adrift and physically present, I still needed to sustain myself by breathing in the heavy air. In the terrible lightness of the never-ending afternoon, I felt like I was walking down a street that would lead me on forever with a smile. I could probably walk down that street of uncertainty and its continuous “today” like tomorrow would never happen. And even though I would eventually become an unwanted party in the interaction, it would politely continue to guide me toward nowhere. Perhaps if I knew that each step I took was already too late, I would later look back to feel the peace of acceptance.

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