The Aces

There were about 10 other high schools on the Main Line. That's 10 different pools to visit each season. Each pool was distinct and had its own decorations - Conestoga hung up all the competing schools' flags, Ridley had a below 0 pool with wide ledges, and our pool had no diving blocks. The pools never changed, and from year to year, I'd arrive at each pool, counting on it to never change. And somehow the teams never changed either. Kids would graduate and others would replace them on the team. But really, each high school would stay at its same spot in rankings.

We practiced really hard. Just as hard as the other teams. But we sucked - and our school stayed at the bottom each year. It was strange. I didn't understand or realise why then. But I see now that you can work really hard and even convince yourself that you're great - but you lose.

Toward the end of my senior year, our pool got new diving blocks. Suddenly, our pool had changed.

the love grenades

i cut off two stems of buds from the rose bush in the garden. i put then in two bottles, one in my bedroom, the other on the kitchen window sill. i had a dream last night that the one in my bedroom began to bloom into a deep pink rose. it was like the beginning of life for me.

in the morning, as i was making oat bran in the kitchen i saw that the rose on the kitchen window had not bloomed. instead, it had retreated and its leaves were turning purple. the stem was now tortuous because it didn't know where to find sunlight.

the buds have been in our house for about a week. i don't think they're going to bloom at all. but they're not wilting away either. they're kinda in the middle of the two - where you don't know if they're going to live or die.